Crowder's Song - "I AM"

I watch this video often, especially in despairing moments, the middle of the storms, when I need to be reminded that God is always there, always holding onto us and calling us to hold onto Him:


I love the moment when Jesus meekly smiles and waves at the kids running alongside the boat, showing His tender, loving side.  I love the moment He gives an emotional, desperate hug to one of the disciples, showing His human, relational side.  I love the moment He slowly kneels down to take the whipping we deserved, showing His sacrificial, Savior side. 

But one of my favorite scenes in this song is at the 2:34 minute mark, when one of the disciples is laying on the floor crying, reaching out to a battered Jesus who is lying near him.  It's only a moment, a tiny, helpless, desperate reach, ...but, oh, how I've felt that way so many times these past years!  Life has repeatedly beaten me down, and I'm laying on the floor sobbing, hopeless, desperate, doing the only thing I can do - reaching out to the Lord with all the strength I have left, just hoping and praying that I can touch Him with just the tip of my finger to feel His presence and know that He is there with me through it all.  And then I know it will be okay.  

Reaching out for the Lord when you're in pain - sometimes that's all you can do.  

But sometimes that's enough.



[I think part of the reason I rage against Calvinism so fiercely is because I have hurt so badly in life and struggled with such despair and brokenness and hopelessness, even as a Christian.  And Calvinism, to me, is all about keeping most people in despair and brokenness and hopelessness.  Eternally.  It's about keeping lost people lost, putting most people beyond the reach of God's grace, love, forgiveness, and healing.  It blocks the door of heaven to most people, allowing only those few lucky "elect" to enter, informing everyone else that God doesn't love them, that Jesus didn't die for them, and that they have no hope of ever finding help or healing or salvation.  But I've hurt so deeply in life that my heart breaks for humanity, for all of us lost, hurting people.  And I will never make anyone else think that they are hopeless, that they are beyond the reach of God's love and grace and healing, that they were created to hurt forever.  (And I would never tell others, as Calvinists do, that it's impossible to choose to believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior ... when God clearly and repeatedly tells us in the Bible that to be saved we must choose to believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior.)  What a wicked theology Calvinism is!]

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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist" posts).  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.]    And so here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinists," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify as a Calvinist, I tried to figure it out based on the statements of faith of the groups/churches they belong to, the books they write, the t...
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Is The ESV (English Standard Version) a Calvinist Bible?

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Because it  appears  to teach biblical truth while actually teaching  the opposite  - while using  manipulation and cult-like tactics to suck you in!  And it's spreading.  Stealthily, fast, aggressively. (We watched it happen firsthand in our church, which is why I wrote this blog.  See  "What's the best way to make people agree with your Calvinist views?"    Sadly, we ended up  leaving that church , a place we attended almost 20 years.) [ I updated this November 2022 to try to shorten it.  I failed.  But I hope it's more readable and streamlined at least.   If you only read one anti-Calvinism post of mine, I think it should be this one.  But I'm warning you, this post is long.  Very long.  So pack a lunch and bring a sleeping bag.  But it has to be long because Calvinism is so deceptively convoluted that it takes time to peel off the layers so that you can see it for what it really is.  ...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (shorter, basic version)

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[Finally, the much-shorter version - I said shorter, not short😉 - of my "But predestination!" series.  The longer version - full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them - can be found by  starting here .  But in this simplified version, I'm simply sharing the basics.  And I'll do a tiny version soon too, cutting out almost all quotes and memes.  But, oh, they add so much that it's hard to cut them out. ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to: "God preplans and controls everything, even sin and evil and all our decisions, and so He pre-picks who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.  He causes the 'elect' to believe in Him and be saved, but He made sure the 'non-elect' have no chance or ability to believe and be saved because He predetermined they'd ...
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"But Calvinists don't say God causes sin and evil!"

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If you point out to Calvinists that Calvinism's view of sovereignty - that God fore-ordains and orchestrates everything that happens and we had no ability to do anything differently - makes God the cause (and truly the only  voluntary cause) of all sin and evil, they'll probably respond with something like "That's not what we're saying.  You're putting words in our mouths.  And you don't understand Calvinism."   When they do that, show them a few of these quotes -  Ca lvinists' own words about their beliefs of God's sovereignty and how He preplans, will, ordains, orchestrates, directs (code words for "causes")  everything  that happens.  And then ask them if they still think you're really misunderstanding them.  (Bold emphasis added) [And before reading the quotes, here's a great, satirical 4-minute video that I think everyone should see:  Hitler and Calvinism .  Awesome!] 1. R.C. Sproul Jr.  ( Almighty Over All) :  ...
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(For just the "Is the ESV a Calvinist Bible" part of this post, click here .) In my normal Bible reading today, I came across a verse about "singleness vs. marriage" that destroys Calvinism in a few short words: "But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but who has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin - this man also does the right thing."   ( 1 Corinthians 7:37, NIV ) When you get past all the layers Calvinism wraps itself in to disguise the bad parts, it ultimately teaches - at the heart of it all - that God causes/controls  everything , even controlling our wills and causing our sins.  (But He then punishes  us  for the things He caused us to do, which would make Him unjust, no matter how much Calvinists try to deny it and cover it up.  See  this post  for some links about that.)  Calvinism ultimately teaches that everything we do is because God p...
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How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist (simplified version)

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When Calvinism Infiltrates Your Church

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Leaving Calvinism: Comments from Ex-Calvinists #11

Here is the last of the ex-Calvinist testimonies.  The first one is from this post:  X-Calvinist Corner .   (It's an Arminian website, but I am not Arminian.)  I am going to highlight some of the comments that stood out to me the most.  If you want to read everything that everyone said, click on the link above: Dana Steele writes: I grew up in a Calvinistic Baptist church from age 11.  The 5-points of Calvinism (TULIP) were taught regularly with great enthusiasm ... But it wasn’t until college that I began to understand and embrace the “Doctrines of Grace” and TULIP more fully....  I also learned to love the doctrine of election because it meant that God loved me personally and specifically in a unique way.  Though it made me a little embarrassed to think that God did not love everyone this way, I was content to leave this as a mystery.  Who am I to question God?  I was just glad I was one of the lucky (I mean chosen) ones. ... [As ...
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The Cult of Calvinism

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