Leaving Calvinism: Comments from Ex-Calvinists #7
Here is the next batch of ex-Calvinist testimonies (and those who never were Calvinists but who came face to face with it) from this post: X-Calvinist Corner. (It's an Arminian website, but I am not Arminian.) I am going to highlight some of the comments that stood out to me the most. If I add any comments of my own, it will be [blue and in brackets]. I made minor corrections for better grammar and punctuation. If you want to read everything that everyone said, click on the link above:
Deborah Hansel [a sad example of what Calvinism does to you and your faith]:
I was raised in a Calvinist town, and I went to Calvin College. I became a Calvinist (solidified/mentally) through listening to R.C. Sproul and reading John Piper.... However, over the years, my assurance began to erode, and it came to a head a couple years ago when we started attending a Calvinist church and the pastor asked me, “When did you become a Christian?”... I did not know. I could not pin-point an exact time when I felt I had been “born of God.”...
I began asking myself, If I don’t know the “when”, then maybe it never happened. I started looking hard into the doctrine of Perseverance, and began examining my life. At times, I felt relieved, because I noticed positive change in my heart and actions over the years. At other times, I felt despair, because I still struggle with sin. I could not determine from my own life/heart/actions if I was a true Christian — truly “persevering.” And I was left with no solid foundation to stand on for my salvation. I asked the Lord, knowing it seemed like insanity, to save me, over and over. I knew that had to be wrong, because Christ said he would never turn away any one who came to Him. But I felt I needed to continue to ask, because I really did not know....
Then I began to ask myself if it was even profitable to continue to ask God to save me, when I quite possibly was never determined to be saved to begin with, and who could thwart God’s will?
I was also struggling with knowing what gospel to tell my lost neighbors. How could I offer them the Cross if Christ had not died for them to begin with? I could not know if they were “elect” or not. And if they were not elect, it would be a lie to offer them the news that Christ had died for them. So my hands were tied. I had no real gospel to proclaim. After several months of inward turmoil — not knowing if I was saved, and not knowing what gospel to tell the lost, somebody said to me that “all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved, and if you’ve done that, you are saved.” Instantly I felt relief and security. I think this was the Holy Spirit somehow comforting me.
I began reading other perspectives on the passages I always felt were supportive of Calvinist doctrine, and I realized that I had been reading the Bible through a Calvinist lens, and I did not know it. I realized the words I read in the Bible were being defined for me by Calvin, and I had no idea. I will conclude by saying that it gives me far more assurance to know that Christ’s cross is for everybody who wants it — that anybody can come and take the free gift of the water of life. I want it. Therefore, I can have it. It is for all who will come. The gospel is just that. It is a real offer. It is a real opportunity. I can tell my neighbors that, because that is Good News!
Deborah:
... If you read Calvin’s Institutes, you might notice what I have noticed — that he does not tolerate other people’s opinions/interpretations of Scripture. His fierce opposition to Servetus, culminating in Servetus’s being burned at the stake, is not a biblical approach. [The apostle] Paul debated with people, and excommunicated people, but didn’t have them killed (to my knowledge). Having been raised in Calvinism, I can testify that it has taken me years, and I’m still working on it, to undo the intolerant nature I learned.... Anyway, every Christian tradition has its pitfalls. Pride and intolerance are things I have noticed in Calvinist circles. I hate it, and with God’s help, I’ll root it out of my personality.
johnschroeder73:
... My rejection of Calvinism has allowed me to truly see God for who He is. He is the God who shows no favoritism (Leviticus 19:15 / Acts 10:34 / Romans 2:11). He has compassion on ALL he has made (Psalm 145:9). He truly wants EVERYBODY to be saved (1 Timothy 2:4-6 / 2 Peter 3:9). That’s why the grace of God which brings salvation has appeared to EVERYBODY, without exception (Titus 2:11).... One final comment that could help people make a real breakthrough in leaving Calvinism. I HIGHLY recommend the YouTube video entitled, “What’s Wrong With Calvinism” by Dr. Jerry Walls. I consider it to be a “must watch”, and hopefully God uses it to lead many people out of Calvinism. [I have not watched this yet, but hopefully soon.]
Keith Coward:
... I had chosen a Reformed school not because I agreed with Reformed theology (RT), but because a favorite pastor taught there. But I quickly embraced Calvinism because I desperately wanted to understand how Scripture fit together, and my professors were offering me a comprehensive ready-made system that explained 1,200 pages of divine revelation. They were wiser than I by far, and could mount a massive number of verses that appeared to teach TULIP. I had neither the time nor the skill to test their interpretation of Scripture. And besides, God’s knowledge is infinitely greater than mine; so even if his word taught that he ordains whatsoever comes to pass – including the salvation or damnation of all people – I was going to worship him on his terms. So for the next 20 years I would be a staunch Calvinist, convinced that it was simply the teaching of God’s word....
I remained a committed Calvinist by choice and wanted to silence the issues that were bothering me [about Calvinism], so on vacation in October 2012 I decided to shore up my confidence [in Calvinism] by reading some Reformed writers. But my plan backfired [he began to see more holes in the Calvinism's interpretations of verses] ... I decided to spend my vacation differently: Instead of trying to bolster my confidence in [Calvinism], I began to work my way through several texts ostensibly supporting the Calvinistic concept of unconditional election. I asked, “Is there another way to understand these passages?” To my surprise and chagrin, I found that there were not only alternative interpretations, but that they actually made better sense of the texts’ contexts.
That was a turning point in my life. For the first time I said, “Whatever it cost me (and I knew it could cost me everything), I want to know the truth.” I spent the next year and a half going back through Scripture, reading books on both sides of the issue, listening to debates and lectures, praying fervently, studying passages, and meditating deeply. Gradually, my questions about [Calvinism] turned into doubts, and by the end of 2013 I realized that my doubts had turned into disbelief. I had not fully reconstructed my theology, but it was clear that I no longer found Calvinism coherent, much less biblical....
I had been exposed almost exclusively to Calvinistic theologians for 20 years; they had given me the lens through which I read Scripture. I needed to test that lens by the word of God, not the words of humans....
Now, from the outside, I have grave concerns about the ways that some Calvinists discourage dissent; and I fear that intimidation will keep most from ever even considering that they may be misguided.
... this journey was for me a simple matter of faithfulness to Jesus.... Sometimes our love for Jesus means that we must lose friends, approval, and job-security; but these are small matters alongside the pleasure of walking with him.... In the end, this journey has not been about having the right answers, but following Jesus.... I am not seeking a man-centered religion more palatable to my ego, but have followed him down this path because I am zealous for his honor as a loving God, a just God, and a God who is so sovereign that he can make creatures who, like himself, are not scripted but free and thus capable of loving and being loved by him. What I have found is a God that actually lives up to [being] a glorious God [as opposed to Calvinists who say their god is glorious when he's really wretched].
[Amen, and amen!]
