UGW #9i: Still Waiting For An Answer?
Understanding God's Will #9i:
So how long do we continue to hang in there and pray for something that doesn’t seem to be happening? When it seems like God is not listening and it hurts us to have to plead again about a certain request?
I’ve pleaded with God for things that haven’t happened or that were a long time in coming. And this is the best advice I can offer right now.
If you have given your concern over to Him in prayer and invited Him to open or close the doors as He sees fit, if you have confessed any known sin and asked Him to reveal any hidden sin, if you are abiding in Him and seeking His guidance in His Word and in prayer, if you have examined your heart to see if you really trust Him (and have worked through any distrust or doubt with Him), and if you are willing to hear the answer whatever it may be and to obey whatever He asks you to do ... and if it still seems like God is not answering you and the wait is getting long and you don't know what to do next, I would suggest this:
Hang in there and keep praying about your concern until one of five things happens. Until ...
2) God says, “No, My grace is sufficient for you.”
[And sometimes a “no” is actually a blessing in disguise. If you get a "no" answer, then tell Him in prayer that even if it hurts and you're heartbroken, you still trust Him. And if you don't trust Him, if you are too angry at Him, tell Him. Talk it over with Him. He understands. Even Jesus got a "no" when He prayed to have the cup of death taken from Him. And He was so broken over it that He sweated blood as He poured out His pain all night in the garden. Thank Him for listening to you and answering you. Ask Him to help you let go of your desires and to figure out what He wants for you. And then just spend some time with Him, getting to know Him again, faithfully doing your daily job. And as you do, He will guide you to where He wants you to be. If you are living obediently and faithfully today, you are in His Will! And the more faithful He sees that you are in the little things, the more He can trust you with the big things.)
3) God has strengthened your conviction that this is indeed the way you are to continue praying, the path you are to pursue, and you simply need to persist in prayer and wait patiently until it happens.
[If this is the case, just be sensitive to God's leading and to any changes He makes in your path or any new thing He asks you to do. And always just do the next thing that God brings across your path, those small everyday jobs that come your way. If you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing now, why would He bring you a new, bigger opportunity? Also pray and ask God if there is anything you are doing or not doing that is delaying your answer. And listen for His reply over the next so many days and weeks.]
4) God has purified your desires through the trial and the waiting, and He has shown you how to change your request to be more in line with His Will. Or ...
5) You realize that you have made an idol out of the request and the answer that you want.
[And if that has happened, I think it is wise to put the prayer request aside, for a time at least. When we learn that we have been so focused on a request or on the pursuit of the answer that we want - to the point that we have lost our focus on God, lost our confidence in God, and have caused ourselves emotional distress - then we need to confess it and to fully hand the request over to Him to do with as He pleases. Tell God that you have lost focus on Him, that you can't stress about your concern anymore, and that you are trusting Him to worry about it for you. And this, when we can do nothing else about this request, is the time to praise Him. And to keep praising Him - until we have Him so clearly in focus and at the forefront of our minds that our desire to get what we want pales in comparison to His glory and His love.
In the end, I have to wonder if God doesn’t always give us everything we ask for simply so none of us can feel like we have an inside track to God and so that we give up our “pat” answers about faith and God and life. So that we can never shake our heads at others in condescending pity when their prayers aren’t answered the way they want, thinking, Poor things. If only they prayed like me or had my strong faith. And so that we remember that none of us can really understand or control God. (And isn’t this exactly what most of us get hung up on in a crisis of faith? But a God that can really be totally understood or controlled by us is not really God at all.)
Summing it all up, when it comes to unanswered prayer and faith, what we should want more than anything else is to get to the place where we can take His hand and walk forward into the darkness in faith. Faith in Him! Because even if we don’t get what we want, we know that He is a good, loving, trustworthy Father who loves us, who cares about us and for us, and who will work all things together for good.
And that is more wonderful and more faith-sustaining than getting what we want when we want it.
For the posts in this series, see the "Understanding God's Will" label in the sidebar (or find the original series, without the Calvinism info, by clicking here).
So how long do we continue to hang in there and pray for something that doesn’t seem to be happening? When it seems like God is not listening and it hurts us to have to plead again about a certain request?
I’ve pleaded with God for things that haven’t happened or that were a long time in coming. And this is the best advice I can offer right now.
If you have given your concern over to Him in prayer and invited Him to open or close the doors as He sees fit, if you have confessed any known sin and asked Him to reveal any hidden sin, if you are abiding in Him and seeking His guidance in His Word and in prayer, if you have examined your heart to see if you really trust Him (and have worked through any distrust or doubt with Him), and if you are willing to hear the answer whatever it may be and to obey whatever He asks you to do ... and if it still seems like God is not answering you and the wait is getting long and you don't know what to do next, I would suggest this:
Hang in there and keep praying about your concern until one of five things happens. Until ...
1) God says “Yes.”
[Remember to thank Him and praise Him, to give Him the glory and the credit for it.]
[Remember to thank Him and praise Him, to give Him the glory and the credit for it.]
2) God says, “No, My grace is sufficient for you.”
[And sometimes a “no” is actually a blessing in disguise. If you get a "no" answer, then tell Him in prayer that even if it hurts and you're heartbroken, you still trust Him. And if you don't trust Him, if you are too angry at Him, tell Him. Talk it over with Him. He understands. Even Jesus got a "no" when He prayed to have the cup of death taken from Him. And He was so broken over it that He sweated blood as He poured out His pain all night in the garden. Thank Him for listening to you and answering you. Ask Him to help you let go of your desires and to figure out what He wants for you. And then just spend some time with Him, getting to know Him again, faithfully doing your daily job. And as you do, He will guide you to where He wants you to be. If you are living obediently and faithfully today, you are in His Will! And the more faithful He sees that you are in the little things, the more He can trust you with the big things.)
3) God has strengthened your conviction that this is indeed the way you are to continue praying, the path you are to pursue, and you simply need to persist in prayer and wait patiently until it happens.
[If this is the case, just be sensitive to God's leading and to any changes He makes in your path or any new thing He asks you to do. And always just do the next thing that God brings across your path, those small everyday jobs that come your way. If you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing now, why would He bring you a new, bigger opportunity? Also pray and ask God if there is anything you are doing or not doing that is delaying your answer. And listen for His reply over the next so many days and weeks.]
4) God has purified your desires through the trial and the waiting, and He has shown you how to change your request to be more in line with His Will. Or ...
5) You realize that you have made an idol out of the request and the answer that you want.
[And if that has happened, I think it is wise to put the prayer request aside, for a time at least. When we learn that we have been so focused on a request or on the pursuit of the answer that we want - to the point that we have lost our focus on God, lost our confidence in God, and have caused ourselves emotional distress - then we need to confess it and to fully hand the request over to Him to do with as He pleases. Tell God that you have lost focus on Him, that you can't stress about your concern anymore, and that you are trusting Him to worry about it for you. And this, when we can do nothing else about this request, is the time to praise Him. And to keep praising Him - until we have Him so clearly in focus and at the forefront of our minds that our desire to get what we want pales in comparison to His glory and His love.
Also, if it seems as though God is not answering your prayer, ask yourself if there is anything that you should be doing or not doing. Sometimes, we pray “lazy prayers.” We ask God to do something for us while ignoring the resources and wisdom He gave us to do it ourselves, such as praying that God gives us a healthy body when we won't exercise or eat right. Or we pray prayers from the wrong angle, and we need to slightly shift what we are asking for. Instead of praying, “Lord, change my spouse,” it would be far more effective to pray, “Lord, help me see what I can do/think/change to make this marriage better.” Sometimes, to get our prayers answered, it takes tweaking them a little or praying that God opens our eyes to the answer that is already there.]
In the end, I have to wonder if God doesn’t always give us everything we ask for simply so none of us can feel like we have an inside track to God and so that we give up our “pat” answers about faith and God and life. So that we can never shake our heads at others in condescending pity when their prayers aren’t answered the way they want, thinking, Poor things. If only they prayed like me or had my strong faith. And so that we remember that none of us can really understand or control God. (And isn’t this exactly what most of us get hung up on in a crisis of faith? But a God that can really be totally understood or controlled by us is not really God at all.)
Summing it all up, when it comes to unanswered prayer and faith, what we should want more than anything else is to get to the place where we can take His hand and walk forward into the darkness in faith. Faith in Him! Because even if we don’t get what we want, we know that He is a good, loving, trustworthy Father who loves us, who cares about us and for us, and who will work all things together for good.
And that is more wonderful and more faith-sustaining than getting what we want when we want it.
For the posts in this series, see the "Understanding God's Will" label in the sidebar (or find the original series, without the Calvinism info, by clicking here).
