Calvi-cult's damage to hearts, minds, and faith (part 1)
[Yeah, yeah, I said it: "cult." But I've come to believe this is an accurate word to describe Calvinism and the way it operates. And I'll explain it more in this "Calvi-cult's damage" series, which I'll be posting here and there between the regular every-other-week posts. A lot in this series is review of things I've already written, so skip it if you want to. (Although it's good to repeat it now and again, especially for those who missed it.) But I wanted to put all this together into a new series in honor of a reddit commenter who made my heart hurt.]
While browsing reddit's "ex-reformed" posts, I found the commenter HVAC_MLG who has recently written a lot about the damage Calvinism has done to him - and still continues to do - even though he left Calvinism a couple years ago. (But it sounds like his wife is still in it. Sad.)
And in this series, I'd like to give voice to this person's pain.
I hear you, HVAC. I'm listening. And your story deserves to be told, to be understood and validated.
In fact, Calvinism has broken his heart, mind, and faith so badly that he says he's left the faith.😞
Here's a sampling of things he's said (I'll share more later in the series), slightly edited:
From Struggling today : r/exReformed: "Everyday is a struggle since leaving. Depression, anxiety, and complete loss of sense of self and my internal world have been uprooted... The beliefs are still in my head: 'You just want to sin,' 'you are worthless,' 'you are evil.' This worldview is so destructive..."
From Voldemort : r/exReformed: "I feel like Voldemort in Harry Potter when he is on the back of the professors head after leaving this religion. Weakened. Down, low self worth, can barely speak. Anxiety and depression, intrusive thoughts like crazy. There are not a lot of people that deconstruct out of this religion. I can see why. They completely psychologically abuse you."
And farther down in the comment section: "I don’t know myself anymore. I have demonized myself so much that it’s hard to feel anything... That doctrine of total depravity really made me feel like I was evil. So I had all of this fear and anxiety and the worse thoughts going through my head because of it. I’m just trying to get back to me. With a clear head."
From Abusive : r/exReformed: "This is hard. A hard hard time in my life. I am suffering greatly from a prison I created in my own mind. Delusional thinking, and a fear of...being free to be me. I felt so g*d d*mn oppressed in this open-door prison they call a church.... TULIP is powerful. It is very intoxicating for those that love to be right and beat up on humans that think differently than them, and it’s very destructive to one’s internal world as the entire doctrine strips you of all humanity to your core... A systematic stripping down of all your personal beliefs and autonomy and sold back to you as freedom in Christ. Absolutely vile in all its ways."
[An "open-door prison": A very succinct description of cults and bad religions! "TULIP is...very intoxicating for those that love to be right" - absolutely! And I believe it's one of the reasons why it often attracts prideful, narcissistic, domineering, controlling people as its leaders and theologians, those who can't even consider they might be wrong and who can't tolerate being challenged, opposed, or disagreed with. (My ex-church wouldn't publish a polite-enough, biblically-based comment I shared on the church blog where I disagreed with the pastor's Calvinist view of predestination. And they have even gone so far recently as to ask long-term members/employees who disagree with them to leave the church.) And "A systematic stripping down of all your personal beliefs and autonomy and sold back to you as freedom in Christ" - wow, very insightful and well-said. Sad but true.]
From I can’t let it just go : r/exReformed: "I tried the Christian reformed view of living life and it brought for me nothing but low self-worth, and the mental health battle of my life. But I can’t seem to let it go... I want to get back at the leadership that hurt me so bad. I ruminate constantly on the doctrines and arguments I would say. I want them to feel the pain I have felt these last 2 years coming out of this! But the rational side of me says, 'What’s the point?'... I know it’s pointless to argue with religious. But somehow I hope I can just move on from this because it keeps me from living joyfully and free. I’m still mentally bound to the religion, and to the people. Do I write a review? What good would it do? Nothing." [And read the reply on this post from Apprehensive_Half_68 who talks about Calvinist analogies as word-nets/word-trances. Very true!]
This is why I'm sharing your story, HVAC. To help you get the word out, to share your pain, to come alongside you, support you, and validate your feelings and experience. And to call Calvinism out for its cult-like manipulative tactics, domineering/authoritarian culture, unbiblical theology, and the destruction it leaves in its wake. [You might consider contacting The Wartburg Watch to see if they want to share your story. They expose spiritual abuses in churches.]
You are not crazy. They are wrong, unbiblical, and, yes, cult-like. [And the fact that many garden-variety Calvinists are nice, decent, well-meaning, good-intentioned people doesn't change that. They are nice, decent, well-meaning people who are wrong, who adhere to and promote a false doctrine... and their good intentions can't change that.]
You are actually one of the smart ones - smart enough to sense that something was wrong with what they were teaching. Smart enough to keep questioning, keep digging, keep connecting the dots. Smart enough to pay attention to the alarm bells in your spirit, to not let Calvinists gaslight you into ignoring the doubts and red flags, to not let them manipulate you into shutting up and falling in line like "good little Calvinists" do, to not let them convince you that "good, humble, God-honoring, Bible-believing Christians" see things their way (as they often portray people who are on their side, who agree with them).
You were willing to risk disagreeing with them, opposing them, to be viewed as unbiblical, unhumble, God-dishonoring, divisive, and non-Christian - as Calvinists often view those who oppose them. You were willing to risk losing your friends, your church, your reputation, your social circle and spiritual support system.
And that takes a lot of backbone, a lot of courage, a lot of inner strength. Not many are willing to take those risks or to sacrifice that much for the Truth.
But...
Matthew 5:10: "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
1 Peter 4:12-16; 5:10: "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name... And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." [I'm still hanging in there, too, waiting for full restoration (which won't fully happen until eternity), still feeling the loss and pain, still struggling some days - not just because of Calvinism but also many other trials and heartaches at the same time. But having lost my church over Calvinism, my support system, has made everything so much harder - and the dominoes just keep falling as time goes on, cycling through the loss and pain. And it's frustrating and heartbreaking to see my old church going on in ignorant bliss, all happy and la-di-da, while me and my family (and other families) hurt because of the damage their false doctrine and toxic culture have done to us. (But ignorance and false doctrine have a high cost that they'll eventually have to pay, even though they're completely, blindly, blissfully unaware that it's coming.) Life is long, and we need to hang in there, focus on our own faith, and take it a day at a time.]
Luke 6:22-23: "Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven."
Romans 8:28,35-39: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him... Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who love us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ”
You're stronger, smarter, braver, and more free than you realize, HVAC. And I know you can make it through this!
Don't let all this pain be for nothing. Let it be a stepping-stone to a more pure, genuine, biblical faith, to knowledge and wisdom that you can help others with. Eventually, you'll be far better off for it - much better off than those who comfortably, naively stayed in Calvinism, those whose faith was slowly suffocated to death without their awareness, those who can't see that they're in an unbiblical cult. (If they don't know they're in one, then how can they ever get out?)
[Some people might call Calvinism just a "warped gospel," but I call it a false gospel, an anti-gospel. See "Calvinism: False Gospel or True (but warped) Gospel?"
Yes, most Calvinists are good, well-meaning, God-fearing, Bible-believing people - at least the ones I know - but they have been bewitched by a false gospel, a philosophical, man-created, Pharisee-like theology that's been presented to them as "Christianity/the True Gospel."
And sadly, they've bought into it, most likely because of their genuine and well-meaning desire to be humble, to glorify and honor God, and to uphold His Word and His sovereignty. And I think this has been one of Satan's greatest tricks and traps: using our desires to be humble and God-glorifying against us, using God's Word against God Himself, against His Truth, against the true gospel. Cunning. Sinister. Devastating.
(Though, to be honest, other people are drawn to Calvinism because of pride, for the power, control, spiritual "authority," and intellectual challenge/stimulation it gives them. I'm just sayin'.)]
I'm really sorry, HVAC, that you've been hurt by this as badly as you have, but you were one of the smart ones, one of the "fortunate" ones, getting out when you could. I just hope and pray that you can rebuild your faith according to God's actual Truth and Word.
In trying to toss out the Calvinism, don't also toss out God and true simple faith. It's not His fault they got it so wrong. And you shouldn't have to suffer so badly for their errors and heresy. (You might like my post "Healing Your Soul from Calvinism's Damage.")
In one of the reddit posts, someone encouraged you to find another non-Calvinist church, and you replied "I don't like religion. It makes people crazy."
I agree 100%!
And guess what? Jesus didn't like religion either. In fact, He hated it. His strongest words of condemnation were always against the high-and-mighty religious snobs who trapped and misled people.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are... Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisees! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness... You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?" (Matthew 23:13-15,25-28, 33)
This is about the spiritual leaders and "authorities" of that day who were well-educated in the law and spiritual matters. They were self-inflated, self-righteous, and overly proud of themselves and their spiritual "intelligence," education, and superiority, and they considered themselves above everyone else, as leaders whom everyone else needed to go to in order to learn the truth.
But they were so enamored with and proud of their own intellect and education that they missed the truth of Jesus and the gospel, even when it was right in front of them. As the most educated people of the day, they - of everyone - should've been able to see the truth. But they missed it, blinded by their own "brilliance." And consequently, they led many naive, trusting, simple-minded people astray, away from the Truth, away from Jesus and the true gospel and eternal life.
Hmm, sounds familiar.
[And yet considering how Jesus spoke bluntly, honestly, and harshly to and about people like this, isn't it funny - sadly funny - how Christians nowadays have been shamed into quietly tolerating bad theology and false doctrine in the name of "unity; not being divisive; not judging; being kind and respectful and loving and gentle and submissive, etc."? And I think that's part of the reason bad theology has spread like it has in the Church. And now we're reaping the consequences of it, of overly-gentle, ooey-gooey, don't-be-a-troublemaker tolerance. For more, see my "Troublemaker" post.]
So, HVAC, I agree. Don't fall for religion, for man-made ideas of how to work our way to God, to heaven. Don't look for religion in some church. But look for God, for Jesus, right in the Bible. Read it with commonsense, taking it at face-value, in the plain and simple way it was meant to be understood.
And contrary to what Calvinism teaches, we can understand it and find the basic truth in it and know what God meant to say, without the help of any theologian telling us what to think or how to interpret verses.
[My Calvinist ex-pastor once wrote a blog post saying that it's dangerous to study the Bible on our own, without the help of theologians teaching us how to understand it.😕 But of course he'd say that - because Calvinists know that we can't really find Calvinism in the Bible without their help, without them first putting Calvinist glasses on us so that we read things in a Calvinist way, according to their Calvinist definitions. (Didn't I say that it works like a cult?)]
Yes, there are some confusing things, like prophecy or historical contexts we might need to research. But for the most part, any person, any child, can read the Bible and understand the basic truths of Scripture, God's character, who Jesus is and what He did for us, the gospel, and the offer of eternal life and our responsibility to accept it... all on our own. (But at least stay away from the ESV, a very Calvinist translation.)
And though it's been hard to go through it, HVAC, your story can be turned around for good. And it might help others who are in your shoes, who feel alone in their pain and doubt and confusion, who feel like there's something wrong with them and their faith for having a problem with a theology that other people seem to accept so easily. Hopefully, sharing your story and knowledge can help bring some good out of your pain and your bad situation.
And sometimes, that's all we can do in situations like this.
In fact, that's why this whole blog exists - because I had nowhere to share my story, my pain, except for with a couple other people who were going through it, too. And so I created this blog to share it with the world, to hopefully help others who are struggling with Calvinism too, but who feel alone, who feel like they are the crazy ones, who are struggling with their faith now and who have nowhere else to turn.
Incidentally, recently I've come to find out that there's a growing list of people who've been hurt by and/or left our old church after it was taken over by Calvinism, after it hired a strong, dogmatic, domineering Calvinist pastor who's slowly created a rather toxic, cliquish, love-less, grace-less, shaming, judgmental, manipulative atmosphere.
In fact, in a recent online review of that church, a reviewer said that the church was not for her because of how uncomfortable and out-of-control its "cult-like vibes" are.
See, I knew it!
I'm not sure what exactly that reviewer sensed, but I think her radar is working well. (And she probably doesn't even know that they've blocked comments from people who disagree with them, have recently asked long-term members/employees who disagree with the pastor to leave, and that, from what I've heard, they are now requiring those they hire to be reformed. So it's even more cult-like than she knows!)
And a couple years ago, another reviewer said that the church disparages people too much - putting other Christians down and making them feel like enemies - and that it seems like the church is not being correctly taught the teachings of Christ. (Spot on!)
(But of course, Calvinists who've been at that church a long time leave comments praising it for being so biblical, loving, and "God-centered."😖🤮)
I wonder how many more people will have to sound alarm bells or leave the church before anyone at that church gets disturbed enough to explore what's going wrong.
Most likely, it will never happen - because over the years they've repelled or "expelled" those who disagree with them, while attracting those who do agree and putting others through what I call "Calvinist Indoctrination" classes, making the church more staunchly Calvinist.
And so who's left now to disagree or raise red flags?
When Calvinism has years to stealthily infect the church, with no one raising alarms - with everyone quietly hiding their doubts and concerns because they don't think anyone else has concerns or because they've been taught that only bad Christians question their pastor - there comes a point when it's too late to turn the ship around.
So if you notice it happening at your church, speak up quickly, often, and loudly (and respectfully, with thoughtfulness, care, wisdom, and integrity) to as many people as possible. Before it's too late.
Learn from my mistake. Out of "respect" for everyone else who might like the new pastor, and not wanting to make waves or cause division, and because we were still trying to figure out what was going on, my husband and I didn't speak up enough. We researched carefully what was being said and got angrier and angrier as we saw how manipulative, deceptive, and wrong it was and how much it was spreading, but we barely spoke up to anyone about our concerns. Because we didn't know how, or even if we should. And within 6 years, the church was basically fully reformed, with no one publicly opposing it.
All we wanted was for there to be open discussion about it all, so that people could research it and decide for themselves. But it became more and more apparent that they wouldn't allow this. And when they removed my comment from the church blog where I disagreed with the pastor's view of predestination, it was the nail in the coffin for us. We realized that discussion and disagreement would not be tolerated, and so we knew it was time to leave.
We made one last effort by sending a letter to the elders about the pastor's dogmatic leadership style, his overly-aggressive teaching on the controversial subject of Calvinism... but the elders never responded because they all sided with him. And so we resigned, choosing to save our own skins while basically throwing everyone else to the wolves, thinking "Well, what can we do anyway? No one will listen to us. Everyone else seems to agree with the pastor." And we slunk away quietly.
We even got a letter from the church office thanking us for leaving so quietly.
But I don't think that was something for us to be proud of or thanked for. I think it was a massive disservice to the church. And to the capital "C" Church, the body of Christ around the world. To the gospel. To God's Truth.
In fact, if I could go back and do it again, I would totally do it differently. I would've gotten out my church directory and sent a letter to everyone in the church, warning them to research what's being taught, to compare it all against what the Bible plainly says, and to open their eyes to the manipulative tactics the pastor uses.
And I don't think this is "being divisive." I think it's standing up for the truth and warning people to be on the alert for bad theology, challenging them to think for themselves, to read the Bible for themselves. (I'd want someone to do this for me if I was unknowingly getting sucked into a cult and false doctrine.) It's putting the responsibility in their hands to know what's being taught to them, to know what the Bible says, to know the direction their church is headed, and to make a decision about it all, encouraging them to evaluate it all for themselves.
But they can't evaluate it if they aren't even aware of what's going on under their noses. If those who can see what's happening and what's wrong won't sound the alarm, then who will?
We often think that "being divisive" is one of the worst things a good Christian church-member can do. But I think failing to warn the church when they fall into severe biblical errors is even worse, even more detrimental. If we have a warning to give, for the sake of the church and the gospel and God's truth/character... and we fail to give it... then we're partly responsible for the mess they end up in. It's partly on us. But if we do warn them but they don't listen, then it's on them.
All we can do is share our thoughts and concerns with them, but then it's up to them to decide what to do about it. And they'll be responsible for their decision.
Ezekiel 3:18-21: "When I [the Lord] say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will surely die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself. Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."
Of course, this isn't really about theology/Calvinism, but I think it still fits to a degree. For me, it's a reminder that we are responsible to share truth when it's time to share truth, to speak up when it's time to speak up... even if we risk looking "divisive."
And sometimes, it can't be helped. Sometimes, when the church is filling with error and heading in the wrong direction, division is necessary... or else they'll take everyone down with it.
[If Calvinism is taking over, time is of the essence. And I say don't bother bringing your concerns to (or only to) the Calvinist pastor (especially a stealth Calvinist pastor) and to the yes-men-elders who know what they're all up to - because they'll just try to silence, shame, manipulate, brainwash, discredit, block, discipline, or expel you, making you feel like you're the problem, like you're being unhumble, divisive, ungodly, etc. and that you need to be stopped or reeducated. But I say go directly to the people - under the radar if you have to, because that's exactly how the stealth Calvinist pastors are doing it too, hijacking the church and people's minds under the radar.]
Sadly, most of us who left our church were unaware of the others who left, because we all left rather quietly, alone, feeling like we were the only ones to have a problem with the church. And those who are still at that church aren't even really aware of those who left and why we left, and so they don't even know to realize that something is wrong.
This is one of the results of effective cult-like control: alienating or discrediting those who disagree/leave, while shielding those who agree/stay so that they aren't aware of the damage that's going on behind the scenes.
(Although my church thinks we "left quietly," I don't think they have a clue that I've been writing all about them on this blog for the whole world to see. Ha, I didn't leave as quietly as you thought, did I?😄)
I'm not big on technology, but thank God for the internet in this case, for being a place we can share our stories and research theology and find good sermons - because sometimes we have nowhere else to turn, no other way to get the word out, and we can't always trust our local churches, especially when they are the source of destructive unbiblical teachings.
"You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?... Are you so foolish?... I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel - which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ." (Gal. 1:6-7,3:1)
“For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.” (2 Corinthians 11:13-15)
"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." (1 John 4:1)
“Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what [their pastor] said was true.” (Acts 17:11, slightly modified😉)
Please, all you Christians out there (who don't believe God "ordained" this damage, his shattered faith), say a prayer for this hurting person, for HVAC_MLG, that God helps him to separate the Calvinist lies from the biblical truth, and to feel His love and grace again, and to rediscover a pure, simple untainted faith and biblical understanding of God's Word and gospel, of His character, and of His relationship with us.
Calvinism is not the gospel, not the Truth. It is a massive corruption of the gospel, of Truth, causing tremendous damage - slow, stealthy, insidious damage, like a slow poison that works without our awareness (until it's too late) - to God's character, His Word, and people's hearts, minds, faith, and trust in God and the Bible.
(And as I've said before: If you can't see this, then you either don't really understand Calvinism... or you don't really understand the Bible. And I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to be honest.)
And once Calvinism gets its tentacles on us - worming in and around our minds, formatting our thinking to match its "doctrines," definitions of words, and interpretation of verses - it's an incredibly difficult thing to fully escape from or recover from because of how it taints our understanding of God and Scripture; how it destroys our faith and our confidence in Him, His Word, other Christians, pastors/theologians, and the Church in general; and how it makes us distrust our own judgment and ability to read the Bible, making it hard to know what's true anymore or whom to trust.
Many people will get in, but only a few will be able to get out.
And even less will get out unscathed, undamaged, with their heart, mind, faith, trust, joy, and friendships still intact.
I've shared these before, but I'll share them again (HVAC, you're not alone.):
"The [Calvinist] concept of total depravity is so completely toxic. I’m still unlearning this as well. It does make me angry sometimes thinking about how absolutely f*cked up it is to teach children they are inherently awful for just being... The system is designed to make you feel like a POS [piece of sh*t] just for being a human. I'm 37 now and am agnostic... I feel more hopeful and free without the church." (eab1728)
Calvinist churches:
Naive, well-meaning, overly-trusting, non-Berean Christians:
"I'm so angry that I was taught that I was completely bad, simply by being human, and I deserved to be tortured by the Creator for all of eternity, AND I COULD DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. All I could do was pray to God and hope that he had mercy on such a miserable, worthless, depraved wretch such as twelve-year-old me." (why-homo-sapien)
"My parents used to say 'even the cutest baby is a dirty rotten sinner.'... I’m turning 30 this year and I still have trouble turning down the volume on this narrative about myself. It has led to issues in my friendships, with my partner, and now, with my parents... I have deconstructed to the [point] of agnosticism... This has crippled my emotional growth as an adult in ways..." (foreverlanding)
"I often wonder how different I might be had I not been raised with the teachings of total depravity. Like maybe I wouldn’t have had to spend the first 20 years of my adult life developing some semblance of confidence and self-worth. Maybe depression wouldn’t have almost killed me in my 20s... it’s hard not to wonder what might have been different had I not been raised in such a toxic religion." (Starbucksname)
"A few years ago I was wondering why my self-esteem was so crap and then suddenly realised that the people who taught me to hate myself were my parents, through the medium of calvinism :)" (pktechboi)
Calvinists teaching Calvinism's "doctrines":
But if you're raising kids in a Calvinist church, take all of this very seriously... because this could be them someday (from the reddit post Election and Suicide : r/Calvinism (reddit.com)): "I have recently discovered the doctrine of election and I believe that I am not elect. I don't have any spiritual fruit and I hate God with all my heart [probably because he thinks Calvinism's god is the real God]. My question is, at this point is it right to want to die? Might as well go to hell now instead of later. I do not want to kill myself (I never will hopefully) but I cant see a reason to live when my end destiny will be the same." (from "deleted.")
My goodness, my heart breaks every time I read these.
The results of good truth gone bad.😞
[In one of the reddit comment sections - I can't remember which - someone (maybe HVAC) asked why no one writes about or exposes the cult-ishness of Calvinism. Well, I have. And here it is: The 9 Marks of a Calvinist Cult. And "Strategy, gaslighting, and manipulation in Calvinist churches." I agree that it very much acts like a cult. And the more I research it, the more cult-like it becomes.
Sidenote: Here's a great new video from Alana L. that was just published: "How to know if you are being tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine." It's not really about Calvinism, but about how people can get swept up into many various different kinds of errant beliefs, trendy but risky movements, or unbiblical theologies - such as Hebrew Roots, post-millennialism, Christian Conspiracies, Calvinism, Hyper Grace, Word of Faith, NAR, Christian Mysticism, Prosperity Gospel, Charismatic/Prophetic Movements, etc. (I hope she covers these more in-depth, plus the things she's tested against the Bible and the conclusions she's come to.) Definitely worth watching and being challenged by. Thanks, Alana!
Also, Jordan Hatfield from Great Light Studios covers various cults and errors/dangers in the Church, another channel worth checking out.
And Andy Woods has a great series against Calvinism. Here's his playlist on YouTube, and here's my post on it: Series by Andy Woods: "Neo-Calvinism vs. the Bible".]
